I decided to make this second part to my big depression talk because even though people are talking about depression in general, how it feels, and how to comfort someone during their bad moments, or even the science of depression, they aren't discussing how it starts and what causes depression in the first place. If you ask me, this is the biggest part of depression; the root of the issue; what started the very first downward spiral.
Here's my story on what brought me to clinical depression. Like everyone else, I was born, I wasn't depressed. I was like most other average babies, healthy, happy, had a loving family around me. It was in Kindergarten that I found what it was like to be shunned. I was teased by the other kids in class all because I had cats named "He-Man" & "She-Ra". For those of you who did not live in the 80's, "He-Man & She-Ra" were total cartoon twin BAMFs who lived in a Mid-Evil/Neanderthalic world who constantly OWNED the forces of souped up magical evil. Rarely were they seen together because they had their own respectively named after shows, but it was the epic of epics back in my day. Well, the fact that we named our then twin tuxedo kittens He-Man & She-Ra, the kids in my class relentlessly teased me over this. My nick name from then on was She-Ra. Now, in hindsight, I now understand how completely BAD ASS that nick name is. As a kid, it was derogatory and hurtful. The kids loved seeing me get upset over it. Some people are just easily sensitive and those people can become depressed easier than most. I was one of them. I took things very personally. I was constantly chastised for getting upset so easily. The teasing continued when I had to go into a Transition Year of school, thus holding me back from entering the 1st grade. That year was the first time I was bullied. 3 boys chased me every day at recess trying to kiss me, hold me down, and abuse me. This was also the year my weight began to escalate. The next year, my bullies followed me to the same school and 2 new bully continued after me including the neighbor kids, but this time,consistently picked-on me for being fat. I only had 1 real friend but she had a gimp leg and a severe speech impediment. We both were teased. The years progressed and I got fatter and fatter. I consistently was teased for this all through elementary school. By middle school, the only mode I knew in myself was sad, mad, and how to be alone. By middle school, I was completely broken and would never know what it was to be "Happy" happy.
|Kristen Stewart's Smile was left out of The Book of|
Revelation as the final sign of the Apocalypse
You see, doctors & scientists have discovered that the brains "happy glands" produce serotonin. It is a chemical made to regulate emotions in humans. When that gland stops functioning normally, serotonin no longer is produced as well as it should be. Here's how this works, me more serotonin is produced, the happier you feel. The less, the sadder you are. Here's something that might trip your mind. Depression is like Diabetes. Your pancreas creates insulin which helps you regulate and process sugar in your body. When it isn't working, it creates less insulin and you get sick. I suffer from mental Diabetes.
So here's my new theory over what actually causes Diabeetus..er..Depression. It's not that the gland just happens to stop working the way it should. Let's think of it this way. When you undergo negative circumstances, your brain knows to reduce your serotonin because you had just undergone a small trauma. Just like a candy bar, your pancreas knows to turn on the insulin to help regulate and process that sugar. So what causes a person to become diabetic (type II situation, not juvenile. That's a whole other bag)? Eating too much sugar for too long. When you eat all that sugar for all that period of time, your pancreas just can't handle it anymore so it stops trying. It's the same for your brain gland. You undergo so many traumas for such long periods of time that your brain says "Fuck It. I'm out." and stops producing like it should. That's depression. Because of all the teasing, bullying, and shit I went through all through my younger years, my brain just up and said "there's just no pleasing you. I'm done trying." and I haven't been "Happy" Happy since. Medications help when a person can afford them, but all those medications can do is just keep your serotonin levels even. It's why most people with depression don't bother taking them. They turn them into zombies. They aren't any happier, but now they can't be "Sad" sad either. This can also be said of people who have more sever mental health problems. What can I say, the brain is a tricky lil' sumbitch.
This also isn't to say sudden traumas can't cause depression either. If anything, those major traumas can cause such an acute depletion of serotonin that it could be hard for your brain glands to restart them back to where they can be. This is why the grieving process is so necessary. Proper grieving over trauma (along with counseling if needs be) may be how the brain reteaches itself to pump out it's serotonin levels the way it's supposed to be. Most people who suffer traumas are able to do this. But when grieving isn't able to happen and people can't restart that brain gland to work again, that's when you get conditions like PTSD.
So, take my theory as you will. Just know that understanding how Depression starts is just as important as how to comfort someone with depression.