Sometimes You Feel Like a Nerd, Some Times You Don't

Jim Parsons, when he's not being Sheldon

I have a secret.  One I think all nerds share.  Sometimes, we aren't nerdy.  Sometimes, we fit into other cliche groups just because not all of our interests are in nerdery.  Just like how most "Mainstream" people have their own times where they DO want to just geek-out over something of their own choosing.  Nothing wrong with it.  I realized this this morning when I started reading a Teen-Lit book called Real Mermaids Don't Wear Toe Rings.  This story in particular is about a plus-sized teen girl who finds out one day that she is a mermaid...on the same day she has her first menses.  Sorry for the TMI on that part but it's relevant, I promise.  From there, she tries her hardest to resume a normal life but is scared of the what-ifs that go along with it.  Especially since she inherited her "Mermaid" ability from her mother who died months prior due to a drowning accident.  I have to say, the book had me at "Plus-Sized Teen Girl".  I used to be one so it seemed like a relatable read.

WERK!

But more so to the point of this entry, my guilty "Non-Nerdy" pleasure is reading Teen Lit.  No.  That doesn't mean "Twilight".  I have standards, thanks.  Although, I will say the genres around the Teen-Lit I do read do fall into nerdy categories.  Well, basis on Modern-Day Fantasy is my crack of choice.  My preference around teen literature is kind of because I like the break away from my usual choices in all things dark, naughty, and freakish.  Teen lit is, mostly, a "clean" read.  Not much for swearing,  sexuality (aside from crushes and boy/girlfriends), and it's a nice break to have a main character who isn't an adult who has to deal with burdens such as rent, bills, and work, unless the particular story-line calls for it.  But that's my not-so-nerdy guilty pleasure.

My husband has his Not-So-Nerdy things as well.  I won't go into his because they are of a personal nature but his are on the more...unconventional scale, and that's okay.  They are interests and hobbies that make him happy.  Who am I to judge?

except for your Higher Power...and Judge Judy

So what constitutes as a non-nerdy pleasure?  Well, any kind of interest or hobby that isn't usually put under the category of Nerdy or Geeky, which nowadays is a line that is getting blurred more and more with each Facebook page and app made for it.  Here's a short list that you can hopefully figure out your placement from there...

*Sports, be it Football (American or Soccer), Baseball, Tennis, Golf, Skateboarding, or what ever that involves physical activity.  This interest isn't limited to actually participating.  You can be 100% spectator over your sport(s) of choice.  I love watching Gymnastics, Ice Skating, Extreme Sports, and Ninja Warrior.  Don't judge.  Ninja Warrior is bad ass.
*Shopping...Girly Shopping.  Like clothes, make-up, accessories, pretties etc...
*Crafting such as painting, knitting & crochet (100% guilty here), weaving, spinning.  Though this one heavily borderlines Nerdiness because if you're a renaissance fantasy Geek (read I wear costumes and go to events) and do these crafts as part of your character or "Ye Olden" lifestyle then it's totally nerdy.
*Gardening & Farming.  I have nerdy friends who have Chickens, Goats, their own Veggie Gardens.  A lifestyle I actually wouldn't mind getting into if we had our own home and space for it.  ;)
*Religious Activities & Duties.  I'm not talking about as a career choice.  I'm referring to like volunteer positions like Youth Group leadership & Sunday School teachers and the like.  My parents were both leaders in our AWANAS group.  Mom was a leader in Cubbies, Dad with the Jr. High kids.
...and so on.

Do you have a non-nerdy pleasure, interest, or hobby you like to share?  Post it here or on the Knerd Mom Facebook Page!

Rule #32: Enjoy the Little Things

Wrote a song about bein' a Knerd Mom
Wanna hear it?  Here it goes!

I've always enjoyed simple pleasure ever since I was a kid.  As a kid, reading, playing alone, drawing cartoons, playing video games or even riding my bike made a happy Lori.  Especially since they were things that didn't really include needing friends, which I never really had a lot of outside of school.  Story for another day...or the story of your life as well.  Us life-long Nerds know that tune better than anyone.

But after high-school, I developed new simple things to love.  Sitting in a big comfy chair or couch and knitting or crocheting a few rows, purchasing a new ball of yarn, a massage during a pedicure, enjoying my first cup of coffee & first cigarette outside during the wee hours of dawn (warning: Cigarettes are bad for you and since I have switched to e-cigs...also, don't judge.) also starting the first brewed coffee of the morning did it for me.  Lastly, my cat Freddy snuggling under the covers with me and cuddling his head on my pillow. You really expect me of all people to have owned a "Normal" kitty?  Please.

Ask me who I Pwnd today

There are also simple pleasures involving my "Gamer" Years.  The sweet release of squee when finally putting pencil/pen to blank character sheet as you create the bad-ass you've been toying around with in your head, putting on a really awesome costume that's PERFECT for your character, hearing your character called during "Bonus Point Voting Rounds" (ask me about what that is if you don't know.  Everyone in my group lived for it!), going to afters at Sheri's or Denny's and being able to pay for your own meal/coffee, the first scissor cut in a fresh piece of construction paper...sorry.  That one was Stewie's.

I'm gonna smackahoe for using my line.
Ask that B*%&h where my money's at.

Now as a mother, I have developed a new set of simple pleasures.  All of them brought on by my son.  When he was an infant, the pleasure was just how snuggable he was.  I loved it when I was able to rock, sing, and tell him a story to get him to sleep.  As a toddler, it was the jabbering.  It didn't have to be coherent words in English, German, or Klingon.  It was babble and it made me giggle.  Especially him holding "Congress" with his toys.

He says "Water Gun Control", but I hear "Communism", man.

But now as of late, it's been all about him TRYING to make me happy.  This kid has my simplicity in that regard down.  I will never NOT smile if he hugs me, kisses me, and tells me he loves me.  Every time he thinks I'm sad or angry the first thing he does does is either grabs my arm to hug it, kisses my arm, and/or say "Be Happy Momma" or "I'm making you Happy" or "I Ya Yoo" (how he says I Love You).  

This simplicity thing also seems to be genetic.  Give this kid access to app games, You Tube, or even the toys he already has and he's set for a while!  Good Times.

Nerd World Problems

Have you ever thought of something that really bummed you out, then realized how nerdy you sounded?  It falls under the category of "First World Problems", branched into a special category I like to call "Nerd World Problems".  I mention this not only because tomorrow is "May The 4th Be With You" (2013) but it is also national FREE COMIC BOOK DAY!  Why is this relevant, you ask?  Because there are going to be Storm Troopers and DARTH FRAKKEN VADER at Merlyn's comic book shop tomorrow and our car is too busted to get us there!

And it's this kind of stuff that I'm afraid we are going to miss seeing!

Now, I could just as easily take the bus, but my problem there lies in the fact that we would have to take the bus from our place down town just to catch another bus that more or less runs right by the place.  Then we'd have to walk a good couple of blocks to the next street over to catch the opposite bus back to the bus center just to get back home.  Sure, it doesn't sound like a big huge deal and normally, I wouldn't think twice about doing even that.  Consider this:  I will be bringing a 4 year old in tow.

**omitting image of child exploding from too much excitement, walking-around,

and being completely over tired & hungry**

I love my Geeky pleasures and luxuries, when I have them.  I would go to a role-play event at the drop of a hat, pre-child.  Heck, it was gaming & nerdery that helped get me through my divorce with my 1st husband!  

...yes.  I was married before.  No, I did not have children with him.  If I told you the details, it would take up the rest of the blog entry.  Trust me, TL;DR applies to that story.  Pressing on...

Sadly, shortly into my 5th month, I had to give up gaming for a while.  We were doing our LARP games in the Gonzaga University's main building at the time and the steps up into it are STEEP!  When you're a Big Beautiful Woman carrying a whole extra human in your gut, climbing those steps every week gets rough!  Worse off, after baby and even after having to move back to my home town, gaming was a damn near impossibility!  In the end, I just did not have the means to find or afford a sitter so I gave it up for good.

I know I often state the good and fun things about being a Nerd Parent, but to be honest it's actually really a hard thing to be.  You gotta find that delicate balance between making quality time with your family & kids and indulging your Geek-ness.  I have a LOT of nerdy friends who have families of their own they take care of and STILL have time for gaming, collecting, and what other things they indulge in.  How they make it work is their own Ancient Chinese Secret and works just for them.  Our family also has our own formula for 

 our family vs. guilty geek time.

So, what does this have to do with Nerd World Problems?  Quite a bit.  Nerd/Geek hobbies and habits are not necessities in live.  Just like most of the things in this country we take for granted, there are times we feel entitled to our dorky vices.  We've had them for WAY longer than we've had our kids.  They've become habit, if not a huge part of our lives and ourselves in general.  Once children enter the picture, it starts to feel unfair that we may not be able to partake in these things as often as we had in the past.  But take in consideration this thought...I will go as far as saying most of the things us American Nerdists enjoy come from Asia, majoritively Japan.

Some things we enjoy a little more than we should : /

 Asia is one of if not the largest poverty stricken countries in the world.  When Geeks think of Asia, we think anime, Hirajuku Couture, students in uniforms, and some of the most wicked technology in the world.  What we don't realize is that no matter how much faster their internet speeds are, how much more bad-ass their comics are than ours, and how much more efficient their homes are, they do not live as affluently as their anime/manga suggests.  Asians work 6 day weeks, as are the school weeks.  Their standard of living is MUCH more modest than ours.  Some poor families, at times, live solely on nothing but rice, rice, and more rice because that IS their staple food.  I'll even go as far as saying our poor families in the US live at a higher standard than most Asian countries.  Spend one day in China and tell me I'm wrong.

We have jobs for everyone...and our economy STILL sucks!

Nerd World Problems are ultimately 1st World Problems.  So, If we don't make it down to see Darth Vader and some Storm Troopers, I will tell myself this:  It's going to be okay.  I can always rent "Clone Wars" on Amazon.

Not a NEWSFLASH: Nerds Still Get Bullied

What now, Napoleon?

We all have been bullied in some point in our lives.  No matter how much we teach our children about them, they, too will inevitably become bullied as well.  Maybe not to the same degree as ourselves.  Maybe more than we dealt with.  It's just a fact of life that we just cannot protect our children from and trust that they will make the right choices for themselves when the time comes.  

Having said that, as Nerd Parents, we may or may not be consciously be raising our children to be geeks like us.  They, themselves may be becoming little gamers, readers, role-players, or what other Nerd-Specialty.  Regardless, something about them is going to set someone off and paint a big red target on their backs.  

That will show you for out spelling "Corrugated"
better 'an me!

But before you boycott my blog, I promise I've got a point to all this, I swear.  

Ever since I started public school in Kindergarten, I was bullied.  A LOT!  My first experience with bullying started with the kids in my class teasing me about having cats named "He-Man" & "She-Ra".  That's right.  I was a nerd from the beginning.  They were even twin tuxedo cats and they were both bad-ass.  He-Man proving that with living 11 years long and using every single one of his 9 lives.  I digress.  It got to the point where the kids kept calling me "She-Ra" during recess and behind the teacher's back in class.  It made me so mad and upset that at one point, I tried running away from home RIGHT AFTER SCHOOL!  I purposely missed the bus because I just wanted to escape the torture.  In the end, this caused the teacher to convince my parents to hold me back a grade and put me into a course called "Transition".  Obviously, when you're picked on to the point of frustration, a teacher can be fooled into thinking one is a social retard.

As I got older, I continued getting teased.  This time, for being the fat girl.  This time, for the entire duration of elementary school.  The worse part wasn't that I was teased by the other girls.  I was teased by other boys.  Not only was I teased, I was chased and sometimes physically abused.  There were a few times I punched a kid or kicked him in the nards because he pushed his effing limit, but I will say that at least my mom wasn't blind to what was going on and "slapped my hand" for what I did.  Hey, if I was her, I'd be at least a little proud knowing my GIRL was holding her own against BOYS.  She knew I didn't just take it.

sort of like this, but the muscle was fat...
and about 30+ years younger than this one here.

Eventually by middle school, the teasing died down to a dull roar, but made up for it in a really bad depression.  I experimented with cutting on my legs, severe thoughts of suicide (but no action toward), and spent all my time after school  holed up in my room reading, listening to music, or sleeping.  Fast forward to high school and a group of friends (male) just as nerdy as I felt I was...but was repeatedly teased by them as well.  Sadly, they were some of the only friends I made so I stuck with the abuse until I later traded them for "The Drama Starters".  Don't ask.  This post is getting long enough.

Anyway, I've now grown-up and eventually rose above the teasing, bullying, and abuse and started accepting myself as I was and gained better nerd friends.  Sadly, now that I'm a parent to a kid who will soon enough school, I have seen behaviors in my child on the other side of the fence when he's around other kids; HE'S the bully!  I couldn't be more saddened by this.  So here is my question for you, Knerd Parents:  How do you stop a young child from becoming a bully?  We put a lot of emphasis on what we tell our children to do when they're being bullied along with the rights & wrongs of what to do.  What we don't do is discuss with our children enough about what us as parents need to do if our own child is the one doing the bullying.  Sure, when they're young, you sternly look them in the eye and say "DON'T KICK OTHER PEOPLE!  THAT'S NOT NICE."  I'm not afraid to admit that depending on the offense, I will swat a butt.  But how do we handle the long run?  How badly is our child hurting others?  How do we stop this?  Because we all know our first question that we ask is "Where the hell did we go wrong?!"  

Haha!  You got in trouble for defending yourself!

But on a final note, regardless of bullied or being the bully, we all have heard how unreliable and worthless school punishments are as far as their "Anti-Bullying Policies".  So it is up to us as parents to set the standards regardless of school rules.  That's right, I'm condoning teaching your kids to go against "Big Brother" in this instance.  I feel it is more important that your child comes home as little harmed as possible and be expelled for cold-cocking his bully who once again tried picking a fight with him/her than your child killing themselves or being killed/put in the hospital because the school says "Take it like a man...then tattle."  I promise, bullies who are confronted and called for their bullshit will back down their crap exponentially when put in their place at least once.  I tell ya, both boys I "took care of" backed almost completely off for at least a month in one case, and entirely the other.  This doesn't mean to tell your kid to instigate anything or go looking to "confront his/her demons", but I do COMPLETELY say that if they are about to get their butt handed too or are in the process of, GO DOWN SWINGING!

this kid (the one in the red shirt) DROPPED the little skinny one like it was HOT!
This is a video that went viral a year or so ago.  Yeah, he got expelled
for it, but this was a video that went viral and this kid
is now a freakin' Nerd Hero!

So, those are my thoughts on the subject.  It was one that needed discussing.  If you like, leave a comment or two about your experiences, advice, and what your family teaches about this subject.  If you aren't talking about it yet with your sig. other, kids, or grand-kids, it's past time.

Mommy Time is Naughty Slaughter Time

First of all, this post may contain images that are NSFK (not safe for kids).  The game mainly in question is STRICTLY 18+ ONLY!  Hell, being a mom, I'd even rate it 21 and older if I could.  Having said this...

My mommy time for the next few days will be spent participating in close beta gaming for Aeria Games latest MMORPG "Scarlet Blade".  This game is a definite 180 from my preferred game of theirs Grand Fantasia.  Whereas Grand Fantasia is Fantasy Anime and you have your choice of both genders, females in tasteful (and oddly practical) armor/robes/items, this game is all female characters, all (even the young, pre-teen girls) are more or less completely naked, save for a few not-so-well placed strips of armor & cloth/leather/ what ever.  Needless to say, they are also hot-bodied and well (y'know they ain't real) endowed.  Beverly Hill plastic surgeons would be jealous.

Cleric Female in "Grand Fantasia"  in tasteful garb & Big-Ass Mallet.

Medic in "Scarlet Blade".
Yes, you see nip.
Yes, That is considered "Armor".
SMH

As a woman, I should be outraged by this.  This game objectifies women and all that business.  On the other-hand, I am also a woman who lacks severe sex-drive due to the excessive immersion of a child and his extreme censoring need of shows involving silly characters, life lessons, and school value learning.  I make dinner most nights before the husband comes home.  When not online, I either read, knit, crochet, or watch TV.  So playing a game that lets me be a scantily clad woman with a body-type that is impossible for Angelina Jolie in her 20's to even achieve completely decimate alien critters I will not loose sleep over.  Anything, it may help me sleep better!  

hell, I may even let my husband play.

Anyway, unless you are really against female sexuality as a means to gain players or just straight out feminist...

when this game goes open beta, just at least try it out of novelty of how nekkid you actually start out.  

(that and it will never be as wrong as Lemon Party or 2girls1cup)

If Joss Whedon did Kid's Shows

Okay, this title may be misleading, but because this is me I had an entertaining thought while playing extreme catch-up with "The Walking Dead".  What if Joss Whedon remade some of our favorite kid's shows, or reverted some of his previous shows into cartoons?  I know, totally related subjects.  Just work with me here.  

*Dollhouse
     ~promoted by Disney
     ~It would take place in a facility that literally looked like a 
       real "Doll  House"
     ~We would have 18" dolls with accompanying book series 
       with titles like "Meet Echo","Echo's Big Surprise"
       "Changes for Echo", and "Happy Birthday Echo".

*Firefly

     ~Companions would only be employed by the power of 
       friendship.  That, and they would be My Little Ponies.

I am only here as a friend you pervert!

     ~Serenity would actually be in the shape of a firefly, and 

       still be the most bad-ass ship in the black!

     ~The quips of Chinese would change to Japanese because 

       Firefly will be turned into an anime.

     ~Nothing much else would change because, well, you can't 

       change perfection.

*Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel 
     ~Would be done in the style of He-Man & She-Ra.
     ~Buffy's steak would turn into a magical Anti-Vampire 
       wand with the power to destroy bad-guys.
     ~Buffy & Angel would be twins, but Angel would still be 
       "The Cursed One".
     ~Each respective show would end with a moral.  Mostly 
       about acceptance of other for what they are be 
       it gay, straight, different skin, or living status.
     ~Zander would finally have a power.

*Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
     ~Nickelodeon would produce this one in the style of 
       "Invader Zim"
     ~Penny would be forever ignorant and just think 
       everything Dr. Horrible did was adorable...just to piss 
       him off.
     ~Captain Hammer would still be a total douchebag.  
       There's just no getting around that one.


...and if FOX put any of these on the air for a Saturday morning line-up, they would last one short season before getting canned.  Children of that generation will continue to praise Joss for ever through the Church of Joss Whedon.  

WWJWD

Mobile Coffee to-go!

My favorite local rag here in Spokane, WA is The Inlander.  It comes out every Thursday and I love some of the articles they write in there.  Even if it is purely liberal in political viewpoints.  Well, I browsed through it today (before the sermon started at church) and saw a small article about a lady about to start a mobile coffee business.  Think of it more as a Taco Truck but with coffee.

Yo Quero Mas Cafe!

As I was reading this, I had just the most stellar idea!  What if I do like the neighborhood ice-cream man and have my own COFFEE TRUCK!  I could drive up and down residential streets while the smell of fresh brewed coffee wafts into Stay-At-Home Mom noses!

It would have pictures of coffee cups & beans, and plays
crappy underground indie-music that makes all the hipsters
come round!  Twang-twang twang-whine twang-whine twang-whiiiine...
bitch bitch bitch whine, moan, whine, moan, twang griiiiiipe.
mmmmmmmmmm......

I could possibly make quite a bit of money on this.  Especially if I time it just right and come around just as school buses drive by after picking up the kids to school!

Better yet, it could be a traveling cafe.  I could purchase a travel bus, put my barista set-up in that, and trick out the inside into a cafe where for an extra couple of dollars, those same Stay-At-Home Moms can hop on and cruise around the circut before coming home thus having much needed mommy time and adult conversation with other moms, hipsters, and miscellaneous others chillin' out and having a good time.

Oh me?  I have a family to be ironic.  I don't even consider them kids.
They're more like my Minority Room-Mates.

And if that's not douche friendly enough, I will also be E-Cig friendly and not be paperless to be ironic.  I will  post ideas on what people can turn their receipts into on Pinterest and how to use them in their everyday lives.  Like hair-bows, bow ties, fake mustaches, and baby wipes.  It will be revolutionary.

Just you watch.  We'll be bigger than God or maybe even Starbucks.