I have found a new past-time and it is brutal!
A short while or so after my son was born, an old-school extreme sport was brought back from the grave. That sport was The Roller Derby! I noticed this one day when riding through downtown Spokane on the bus that The Lilac City Roller Girls were recruiting members. My first thought was, huh...whatever. Eventually, more and more fliers were posted and eventually, they were listing times for "Jams" and whom they were playing against.
|The name may be flowery,|
but damn if they don't
play like beasts!
|Bringing the Boom!|
So then I was intrigued over how this sport worked. About the only thing I knew was that it involved a bunch of gals skating in classic 2X2 wheeled skates beating each other up. From that point, I just had to do my research. Thanks to a little indie flick starring Juno (Ellen Page), I found that it's not exactly what I thought! Here's how Roller Derby Works...
|forgive my lack of proper lingo.|
I'm going to explain this the best I can.
You have a have 2 "Jammers", 1 from each team. Then you have about 3 or 4 other gals from each team on the track to form what I'm going to call (for lack of the proper term) a "Herd". Everyone starts at the 1st line with the Jammers behind them. At the start, everyone proceeds to skate around the track counter-clockwise. The Jammers have to break through the pack, go around the track BACK to the heard and try to break through one more time to score. It is up to the Jammers how many times they want to break through until the round/Jam is over. To signal the end of the Jam, one of the Jammers have to tap their hips. They can "Tap-Out" at any time during the Jam to end it. Usually, the first Jammer to break through and score points will immediately tap out just to be a particular bitch and prevent the other Jammer to score points.
Here's a happy little video to explain visually what the hell I'm talking about...
Now that I had really seen (via a fictional movie) what this sport really was about, I REALLY wanted to see a match! Sadly, every time there was a derby going on, I would neither have the time, money, or way to get to go see it! Booooo!
As we all know, we did make it back here to Spokane and now they have two Roller Derby teams: The Lilac City Roller Girls, and now the Spokannibals!
Not only does my city now have two teams, they also host a start of the Derby Year event called "Spokarnage"!
Well, guess who has 2 thumbs and got to finally go root for the home teams? DIS KNERD MOM RIGHT HERE! Also, I found that when their recruitment posters say "We accept everyone" THEY WEREN'T JOKING AROUND! Aside from the fact that they had teams as far out as across the US/Canadian border, there were women on those teams damn near the same size as myself!
I have a confession, I daydreamed about joining the derby after watching Juno kick-butt in her movie, but figured it was a pipe-dream because my size would hold me back. After yesterday afternoon, I now REALLY want to make this happen! I've got to! So what's holding me back?
I CAN'T AFFORD A SITTER!
Until this kid can take care of himself or I can find someone to take him free the nights I have practice or need to leave for Derbies, I'll have to keep dreaming.